Monday, May 16, 2011

I Didn't Sign Up For This!

I knew many years ago that God was calling me to share the glory stories of his redemptive work in my life with every audience He gave me. I knew the difficult childhood I survived, the painful divorce I walked through with God's glorious grace, and everything in between could be shared for the purpose of bringing hope to others that have yet to attain that Hope that I have found...and ultimately be shared to bring Glory to God. I got to a place of healing, and I started crying out, "Use me Lord. I'll do anything you ask me do."

God began to open doors for me to speak - even in Liberia, Africa last summer! And, I hesitantly went but wondered how He could use "little 'ole me" to serve in such a God-craving nation as Liberia. How could I relate to these women? But...He already had that planned out too. My heart for serving women with "my story" grew deeper and deeper. I prayed..."Use me Lord. I'll do anything you ask me do."

My most recent speaking event took me to Western Kentucky. I instantly felt a connection to this group of women and the community, in general. As I hugged their necks at the end of the event, women shared the little nuggets that would remain with them from my message. They shared how hearing the ways God redeemed my life gave them redemptive hope following deep pain. They loved on me with genuine agape love. And...again...I cried out to God, "Use me Lord. I'll do anything you ask me do."

Then came May 4.

My husband left me for his eternal home.

My heart broke in two.

And, I heard God whisper to my heart, "I will use you Leah. Are you still willing to do anything I ask you to do?"

Not this Lord. PLEASE...not this! I didn't sign up for this!

But...again I prayed, while weeping..."Yes Lord. Please heal my broken heart and use me. I'll do anything you ask me to do."


  1. Leah, you came to my thoughts this morning on my way into town. Every time I think about you, I pray for you. I am certain that God has a plan to use even this! I am sure He already has in ways you might never know. Keep clinging to Him and trusting Him. I am praying the Lord will continue to comfort you and heal your heart.

  2. Been praying for you daily and more. I KNOW God will use you! I know that HE will equip you to rob the DEVIL of any victory he could have in the death of your husband. God will give you the strenght to see you through this. He's not going to bail on you. I've been praying that you would have direction and encouragment and support to eventually make this tragedy bring GLORY to HIS kingdom.

  3. So powerful. Thank you for heeding the Lord's words to your heart. Praying that He will sustain you and give you strength through the coming days and months.

  4. Hold onto that girl. You are such a beautiful vessel in God's hands... He holds you gently, tenderly... He holds you. Thanks for the encouragement to be used.

  5. My heart breaks for you. God has been speaking to my heart lately, how it is easy to praise God when times are good, but it is when you can praise God in the storms, that your light for Him can truly shine. You are a blessing, and you are a living example of that. Continue to cling to the cross, because He is the only one who will get you through this.