Desert Wanderer

I'm a desert wanderer looking for an oasis. I know where the oasis is, but for some reason I tend to linger in getting there. The scenic routes are the ones I choose rather than the most direct avenues. I'm so thirsty, but I prefer to stick to wandering around awhile. Why do I do this?

Recently, I read a passage in Oswald Chamber's My Utmost for His Highest. One particular passage really spoke to me...

"In the beginning Moses realized that he was the man to deliver the people, but he had to be trained and disciplined by God first. He was right in the individual aspect, but he was not the man for the work until he had learned communion with God."

Ouch! That touched a little nerve. I'm anxious to be God's servant, but I spend more time wandering in the desert looking for the oasis rather than going directly to it via the pathway that God has freely shown me - communion with Him (through prayer and His Word). I'm pretty consistent in my attempts, but that time of sweet communion is often barren. My mind may wander. I'm distracted by everything and anything around me. I read the words or I'll pray the things I think I ought, but I come away still thirsty. It is at those times that I'm wandering aimlessly. I pray to be God's servant, but I don't always allow my time with him to be an intentional interrupted time of communion. Then...I wonder why He doesn't use me like I've prayed that He will. As soon as I begin to question it, He always reminds me...seek Him FIRST, then the rest will follow. As I do, my thirst is quenched, and I can begin my trek again...praying this time to not miss the next oasis.