Slightly under seven years ago, my daughter and I had just walked into our local neighborhood grocery store. With only a few things on our list, we opted to shop with the small basket rather than the full-sized grocery buggy. Leaning over to pick up the basket, I quickly grabbed the handle of the one on top and stood to turn around. Immediately, I came face to face with a blast from my past.
"Hi Leah. Do you remember me?" asked the pleasant looking woman. "Do you remember me too?" asked the woman beside her.
Did I remember them? Of COURSE I remembered them! Here was my favorite teacher from 6th grade, and my band teacher from 7th and 8th grades. The bigger question was how in the world did they remember me?
"Of course I remember BOTH of you!" I proceeded to give both of them a hug and introduce them to my daughter, who was grinning from ear to ear over this entire exchange.
Both retired, they brought me quickly up to speed on what they were doing now, and I equally shared where life had taken me in the years since middle school. We discussed a few memories from awkward years, and then I finally got up enough nerve to ask them what I really wanted to know.
"I'm just curious. Out of the thousands of students that you've taught in all your years of teaching, how in the world can you possibly remember me from so long ago."
Mrs. O. was the first to respond, "You were simply one of the unforgettable ones."
Oh...I was unforgettable? WOW! How flattering! Wait a minute...I was unforgettable...uh-oh. That may not be a good thing.
She continued in sharing with my daughter how I was such a good student, always obedient, blah...blah...blah. I'm not going to continue with the remarks, but you get the idea. My kiddo couldn't believe that she actually got to meet some of my teachers and got to hear first-hand what type of student I was back in the "old days". She was tickled.
For me...I was still a little floored. THEY remembered ME? Shocking. Even a little uncanny. Did I really leave that strong of an impression? Apparently so...
An interesting thought came to my mind as I was reliving that grocery store day from a few years back. Unforgettable. That's what I long to be so often. I want to be remembered. I want to make lasting impressions. However, unlike 6th grade, I have a completely different motive now. It's not to make good grades or to be the teacher's pet or to reap special favors as a good girl. It's simply this, I want to be remembered for...making Him known and bringing Him glory! As seriously as I can say this through the keystrokes of my computer, that's what it's all about for me friends.
I want to be unforgettable...so that I went share one of His redemptive stories in my life...those that hear never forget His goodness.
I want to be unforgettable...so that when I teach...those that Hear never forget the words that He speaks directly to their heart.
I want to be unforgettable...so that when I speak about Him...people see my undeniable love for Him and want some of that in their lives.
But honestly...I want Him to be the unforgettable one. Remove me from the scene entirely. Let His glory shine...let His name be praised...let His name become famous...let His Name be exalted.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Sound the Trumpets
I remember so vividly the days that I was afraid to pray in public. It was literally a paralyzing fear of mine. I hated to be in groups at church in which there would be even the slighest possibility I could get called on to pray or expected to pray in a "circle prayer". Silly...I know. But, it was very real for me. I had no problem talking to God alone - when it was just my Savior and me. But in front of others...please, no.
I shared this fear with my very closest friend many years ago, only to discover that she, too, had the same fear. After several conversations about this very issue of ours, we decided that it was time to go into battle against this enemy driven fear. The battlefield? My living room floor. On our knees. Praying together. Out loud! We knew we had to face this fear in order to overcome it. We also trusted each other to know that neither of us would ever even attempt to make the other one feel inadequate. There were no "magic prayers". We weren't trying to pray like those eloquent praying Christians at church. We simply wanted to talk to our Heavenly Father...our Abba...and ask Him to change this in us. So we sounded the trumpets.
"When you go into battle in your own land against an enemy who is oppressing you, sound a blast on the trumpets. Then you will be remembered by the LORD your God and rescued from your enemies." Number 10:9 NIV
The Israelites were instructed long ago by the Lord, via Moses, that certain signals blown on the trumpets meant different things. Often a single blast called out the leaders only to the gathering place, but sometimes the entire assembly would be called out by a second blast. And, the Lord clearly instructed them to blow the trumpets whenever they were in battle against an oppressive enemy in their own land...and, they would be remembered and rescued by God.
Just as my friend and I sounded the trumpet years ago...as we went into "battle in our own land" over this enemy trying to keep us from an effective prayer life...God remembered us and rescued us. Our prayer life took on new strength...new fervency...new life...new passion.
Now, many years later I find myself bathed in prayer a lot during the course of the week. I begin each morning in prayer. I pray frequently throughout the course of a day by myself but often with others as well. I'm the prayer coordinator for a Connect Group at church and spend a lot of time organizing and disseminating their prayers as well as spending time on my knees lifting them up. I participate in a weekly prayer with a small group of ladies. I have cyber friends that I pray for quite often. I have strangers that send me prayer requests that I faithfully lift up. I am on the crisis prayer team and website prayer team of my church, meaning that I pray over every crisis prayer and website prayer that is submitted. Folks...I'm not saying this to receive any kind of accolades. This is simply what God has done through me...through a fear I turned over to Him...and all glory goes to Him.
He took a woman full of fear regarding public prayer and created a woman passionate about prayer that LOVES to pray out loud with others as often as possible. We sounded the trumpets years ago...God remembered...God rescued.
Those same trumpets are being sounded today. Just to give you a glimpse of some of things we're battling in our Connect Group...
---we're praying for provision for two families in the midst of new business start ups
---we're praying for a family that has been trying to sell their house for over two years and dealing with no steady income due to job loss
---we're praying for children to return to the Lord
---we're praying for a family that just said goodbye to their 4-year-old as she went home to be with the Lord following a battle with cancer.
---we're praying for a couple desperate to conceive that are struggling with infertility
---we're praying for couples that have recently adopted that are still transitioning with their new forever children
---we're praying for siblings to come to know the Lord
---we're praying for supernatural financial provision
---we're praying for our short-term mission teams (next trip leaves today to Haiti)
---we're praying for wisdom & discernment as God is asking some to make very tough, leap of faith decisions
---we're praying for wisdom in parenting our children
---we're praying desperately for God's hand to be upon us
Once again, we're sounding the trumpets. We're in a battle in our own land against a very real and oppressive enemy. And...we're crying out to God to remember us and rescue just as He's done over and over and over since the days of the Israelites.
And...so I invite you. When have you last sounded your trumpets and called your "assembly" to prayer? God is ready to meet us on our battleland and rescue us from our enemies. Are we remembering to ask Him to? Can I go to the throne room on your behalf? How can I pray for you?
I shared this fear with my very closest friend many years ago, only to discover that she, too, had the same fear. After several conversations about this very issue of ours, we decided that it was time to go into battle against this enemy driven fear. The battlefield? My living room floor. On our knees. Praying together. Out loud! We knew we had to face this fear in order to overcome it. We also trusted each other to know that neither of us would ever even attempt to make the other one feel inadequate. There were no "magic prayers". We weren't trying to pray like those eloquent praying Christians at church. We simply wanted to talk to our Heavenly Father...our Abba...and ask Him to change this in us. So we sounded the trumpets.
"When you go into battle in your own land against an enemy who is oppressing you, sound a blast on the trumpets. Then you will be remembered by the LORD your God and rescued from your enemies." Number 10:9 NIV
The Israelites were instructed long ago by the Lord, via Moses, that certain signals blown on the trumpets meant different things. Often a single blast called out the leaders only to the gathering place, but sometimes the entire assembly would be called out by a second blast. And, the Lord clearly instructed them to blow the trumpets whenever they were in battle against an oppressive enemy in their own land...and, they would be remembered and rescued by God.
Just as my friend and I sounded the trumpet years ago...as we went into "battle in our own land" over this enemy trying to keep us from an effective prayer life...God remembered us and rescued us. Our prayer life took on new strength...new fervency...new life...new passion.
Now, many years later I find myself bathed in prayer a lot during the course of the week. I begin each morning in prayer. I pray frequently throughout the course of a day by myself but often with others as well. I'm the prayer coordinator for a Connect Group at church and spend a lot of time organizing and disseminating their prayers as well as spending time on my knees lifting them up. I participate in a weekly prayer with a small group of ladies. I have cyber friends that I pray for quite often. I have strangers that send me prayer requests that I faithfully lift up. I am on the crisis prayer team and website prayer team of my church, meaning that I pray over every crisis prayer and website prayer that is submitted. Folks...I'm not saying this to receive any kind of accolades. This is simply what God has done through me...through a fear I turned over to Him...and all glory goes to Him.
He took a woman full of fear regarding public prayer and created a woman passionate about prayer that LOVES to pray out loud with others as often as possible. We sounded the trumpets years ago...God remembered...God rescued.
Those same trumpets are being sounded today. Just to give you a glimpse of some of things we're battling in our Connect Group...
---we're praying for provision for two families in the midst of new business start ups
---we're praying for a family that has been trying to sell their house for over two years and dealing with no steady income due to job loss
---we're praying for children to return to the Lord
---we're praying for a family that just said goodbye to their 4-year-old as she went home to be with the Lord following a battle with cancer.
---we're praying for a couple desperate to conceive that are struggling with infertility
---we're praying for couples that have recently adopted that are still transitioning with their new forever children
---we're praying for siblings to come to know the Lord
---we're praying for supernatural financial provision
---we're praying for our short-term mission teams (next trip leaves today to Haiti)
---we're praying for wisdom & discernment as God is asking some to make very tough, leap of faith decisions
---we're praying for wisdom in parenting our children
---we're praying desperately for God's hand to be upon us
Once again, we're sounding the trumpets. We're in a battle in our own land against a very real and oppressive enemy. And...we're crying out to God to remember us and rescue just as He's done over and over and over since the days of the Israelites.
And...so I invite you. When have you last sounded your trumpets and called your "assembly" to prayer? God is ready to meet us on our battleland and rescue us from our enemies. Are we remembering to ask Him to? Can I go to the throne room on your behalf? How can I pray for you?
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Faith is Now Her Sight
Sitting in the congregation, I stared at the slideshow depicting precious pictures of the brief 4 years of Susana Whittaker's life. What a doll! Tears once again welled up in my eyes, but I quickly worked to suppress them. "Not today!" I thought to myself. "I'm celebrating today!" Instead, I turned my gaze to my friend beside me and struck up a conversation with her, which ultimately led back to sweet Susana and her amazing family. Again...the tears wanted to blind my sight. Once again, I suppressed them.
The funeral home attendants soon asked us to stand, as the family made their way into the sanctuary. The service began, and we worshipped. We worshipped the God of the universe, the One who called Susana home just a few short days ago. We worshipped the One that ordained every single one of her days before even one of them came to be (Psalm 139). We worshipped the One that calls the death of His faithful servants...precious in His sight (Psalm 116).
Beautiful words were spoken. Beautiful praises were sung. Beautiful pictures were displayed.
Susana's dad, Cody, greeted the congregation - first with words bathed in scripture. My tears poured again, but this time - with a smile on my face. God's Word...in action...right before my eyes. Amazing. But, what followed melted my heart. Cody played his guitar and sung Susana's favorite worship song with deep conviction as evidenced by the faith of both of Susana's parents...You Never Let Go. The words of the chorus still ring in my ears..."Still I will praise you. Still I will praise you." Here stands this father...having endured within the last year the tragic Haitian earthquake of 2010, malaria, Susana's cancer diagnosis and treatment, and now the earthly death of his 4-year-old daughter...here he stands, boldly singing, "Still I will praise you. Still I will praise you." To God be all the Glory!
A few more words spoken. Then, we began to sing... the gospel put to song.
At this point, I simply live by faith...faith in the fact that Susana now resides in heaven. Faith in fact that God did heal her of her crippling disease of cancer - just not this side of heaven. And, for me, faith is enough until I reside with the King of Kings in heaven. But, for Susana...her faith is now her sight! Blessed be the name of the LORD!
The funeral home attendants soon asked us to stand, as the family made their way into the sanctuary. The service began, and we worshipped. We worshipped the God of the universe, the One who called Susana home just a few short days ago. We worshipped the One that ordained every single one of her days before even one of them came to be (Psalm 139). We worshipped the One that calls the death of His faithful servants...precious in His sight (Psalm 116).
Beautiful words were spoken. Beautiful praises were sung. Beautiful pictures were displayed.
Susana's dad, Cody, greeted the congregation - first with words bathed in scripture. My tears poured again, but this time - with a smile on my face. God's Word...in action...right before my eyes. Amazing. But, what followed melted my heart. Cody played his guitar and sung Susana's favorite worship song with deep conviction as evidenced by the faith of both of Susana's parents...You Never Let Go. The words of the chorus still ring in my ears..."Still I will praise you. Still I will praise you." Here stands this father...having endured within the last year the tragic Haitian earthquake of 2010, malaria, Susana's cancer diagnosis and treatment, and now the earthly death of his 4-year-old daughter...here he stands, boldly singing, "Still I will praise you. Still I will praise you." To God be all the Glory!
A few more words spoken. Then, we began to sing... the gospel put to song.
At this point, I simply live by faith...faith in the fact that Susana now resides in heaven. Faith in fact that God did heal her of her crippling disease of cancer - just not this side of heaven. And, for me, faith is enough until I reside with the King of Kings in heaven. But, for Susana...her faith is now her sight! Blessed be the name of the LORD!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Scripture Memory Verse 4
Good evening bloggy friends! I've missed you all so much and really miss my daily blog posting. The 40-day journey we traveled together was incredible, and I plan to do it again in the future. However...yes, there's a little "however" tucked away in here...I needed a little bit of a break. And, as you probably have read by now, little Susana went home to be with the Lord the day after my 40-day consecutive blogging challenge ended. My mind has simply been a bit preoccupied since then - trying to process everything. Her Homecoming Celebration this past Monday was simply beautiful, and I hope to share more about that in the days ahead. But, for today...I have a little confession to make...
I'VE THOUGHT IT WAS FEBRUARY 15TH ALL DAY LONG!
And...that means, I'm a day late on my next scripture memory verse! I can't believe I did that. I'm quite embarrassed, to say the least. Little "Miss Calendar" goofed...big time! This has been quite humbling to say the least. OK - enough confession time. Let's move on...time to wield our swords!
God has been teaching me quite a bit lately regarding idol worship. No, I'm talking about the kind of detestable idol worship the Israelites succumbed to repeatedly in their 40 years of wilderness wanderings. Some of those idol names I can't even pronounce. But...you know what? ANYidol we worship...ANY god we bow down to outside of Jehovah Himself is just as detestable to the God of the universe. His name is Jealous (Exodus 34:14). Our idols may look different than the Baal of Peor or the Asherah poles, but they are still idols nonetheless. What do you bow down to? Is it money...food...attention...material possessions...your job...status...your business...successes...family?
The scripture memory verse that I'm working on from now until March 1 has a lot to stay about how God feels about "sharing the stage" with our other idols:
Isaiah 42:8 NASBI am the LORD, that is My name; I will not give My glory to another, nor My praise to graven images.
And...all God's people say...Amen!
I'VE THOUGHT IT WAS FEBRUARY 15TH ALL DAY LONG!
And...that means, I'm a day late on my next scripture memory verse! I can't believe I did that. I'm quite embarrassed, to say the least. Little "Miss Calendar" goofed...big time! This has been quite humbling to say the least. OK - enough confession time. Let's move on...time to wield our swords!
God has been teaching me quite a bit lately regarding idol worship. No, I'm talking about the kind of detestable idol worship the Israelites succumbed to repeatedly in their 40 years of wilderness wanderings. Some of those idol names I can't even pronounce. But...you know what? ANYidol we worship...ANY god we bow down to outside of Jehovah Himself is just as detestable to the God of the universe. His name is Jealous (Exodus 34:14). Our idols may look different than the Baal of Peor or the Asherah poles, but they are still idols nonetheless. What do you bow down to? Is it money...food...attention...material possessions...your job...status...your business...successes...family?
The scripture memory verse that I'm working on from now until March 1 has a lot to stay about how God feels about "sharing the stage" with our other idols:
Isaiah 42:8 NASBI am the LORD, that is My name; I will not give My glory to another, nor My praise to graven images.
And...all God's people say...Amen!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Susana
Hi friends!
Just a quick update for those of you that don't connect with me on Facebook or Twitter. As you know, I've been writing off and on about our sweet friends, The Whittaker family. Specifically, their daughter 4-year-old daughter, Susana - with cancer. Susana is now completely healed - in heaven. She went home to be with her beloved Savior at 12:15 pm today. We will CELEBRATE her life on earth and her eternal life in heaven on Monday. Please pray for her precious family as they ache for their daughter.
Just a quick update for those of you that don't connect with me on Facebook or Twitter. As you know, I've been writing off and on about our sweet friends, The Whittaker family. Specifically, their daughter 4-year-old daughter, Susana - with cancer. Susana is now completely healed - in heaven. She went home to be with her beloved Savior at 12:15 pm today. We will CELEBRATE her life on earth and her eternal life in heaven on Monday. Please pray for her precious family as they ache for their daughter.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Day 40 is Here!
It's here friends. The end to my 40 days of continuous blogging. It has been such a joy sharing this journey with you. I'm not done blogging. Quite the opposite actually. I'm more determined than ever before to share life with you in this amazing electronic format. However, I can't commit to an everyday post anymore. I do hope to be here several times a week, and I pray you continue to follow along. It's so humbling to know that you all actually care to read what I write.
This being the second time that I've done a 40-day blog journey, I knew going in that it would be difficult - from a consistency point - but, extremely rewarding. God has not failed me in the area of reward. If you've studied the Bible for any length of time, then you know that the number 40 is very important to God and very significant to us, His children. Looking at every instance in the Bible relating to the number 40, God has done something transformational.
God cleansed the world of wickedness & sin after a period of 40 days & nights of rain.
God spared the city of Ninevah following a period of 40 days of repentance.
Moses' face shone after 40 days on Mount Sinai with God.
The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years prior to entering the Promised Land.
And...these are just to name a few. Well, my 40 day blog experience may not have led to such great and astonishing things as those I just named. But, God has done some very transformational things indeed. A couple of them are too personal to share in a blog format, but I do want to share two of them with you...
God has transformed me in my weight loss/healthy eating journey I began right after Christmas and continued through Made to Crave. To date, I've lost almost 30 pounds! No longer do I crave weight loss for the purpose of getting compliments, fitting into my skinny clothes, or anything else superficial. I know crave weight loss, because I CRAVE...literally yearn for...God! And...because I crave God, I want to glorify Him through my weight loss!
Secondly, on day 40 of this blog writing journey - yes, today - God restored my husband's job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, friends...my husband will be returning to his job on Monday! We are overcome with emotion, we are overcome with gratitude and thankfulness, and we KNOW that it's because of the prayers of His people. Why He chose to bless us with this type of answered prayer - I'll never know. He could have done something completely different, and we would still be praising Him right now! Like my friend, Susana, whom it appears Jesus is calling home soon, I know that God NEVER LETS GO. Like Susana, one of my favorite songs is Matt Redman's You Never Let Go! That song has taken on significant meaning to me during these last 40 days. I have an idea that this not the end folks...simply the beginning.
You Never Let Go - Matt Redman (song lyrics):
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
(Chorus:)
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth
(Chorus)
Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You
This being the second time that I've done a 40-day blog journey, I knew going in that it would be difficult - from a consistency point - but, extremely rewarding. God has not failed me in the area of reward. If you've studied the Bible for any length of time, then you know that the number 40 is very important to God and very significant to us, His children. Looking at every instance in the Bible relating to the number 40, God has done something transformational.
God cleansed the world of wickedness & sin after a period of 40 days & nights of rain.
God spared the city of Ninevah following a period of 40 days of repentance.
Moses' face shone after 40 days on Mount Sinai with God.
The Israelites wandered in the wilderness for 40 years prior to entering the Promised Land.
And...these are just to name a few. Well, my 40 day blog experience may not have led to such great and astonishing things as those I just named. But, God has done some very transformational things indeed. A couple of them are too personal to share in a blog format, but I do want to share two of them with you...
God has transformed me in my weight loss/healthy eating journey I began right after Christmas and continued through Made to Crave. To date, I've lost almost 30 pounds! No longer do I crave weight loss for the purpose of getting compliments, fitting into my skinny clothes, or anything else superficial. I know crave weight loss, because I CRAVE...literally yearn for...God! And...because I crave God, I want to glorify Him through my weight loss!
Secondly, on day 40 of this blog writing journey - yes, today - God restored my husband's job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, friends...my husband will be returning to his job on Monday! We are overcome with emotion, we are overcome with gratitude and thankfulness, and we KNOW that it's because of the prayers of His people. Why He chose to bless us with this type of answered prayer - I'll never know. He could have done something completely different, and we would still be praising Him right now! Like my friend, Susana, whom it appears Jesus is calling home soon, I know that God NEVER LETS GO. Like Susana, one of my favorite songs is Matt Redman's You Never Let Go! That song has taken on significant meaning to me during these last 40 days. I have an idea that this not the end folks...simply the beginning.
You Never Let Go - Matt Redman (song lyrics):
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
(Chorus:)
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth
(Chorus)
Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
30 Beautiful Months
A few weeks before marrying my best friend on August 9, 2008, a dear friend of mine gave me a piece of advice that she had heard from someone else, "Don't just celebrate your anniversary once a year. Celebrate it every month on the day you married." In other words, for us, we would celebrate it on the 9th of every month.We LOVED that idea and vowed to do just that!
We don't do anything lavish. We may give each other a card, or my husband may bring me flowers. But, if nothing else...we snuggle up on the couch and watch our wedding video every month. We often laugh our heads off at the funny things that took place on that day that we were clueless to. We listen again as we recite our vows. We get teary at some of the most tender moments. And...we always recognize how blessed we are that God brought us together.
Today...we celebrate 30 beautiful months together. Today...in the midst of one of the darkest trials we've been through to date, we praise Him who brought us together. We praise Him who has strengthened our love for each other through this recent difficulty. And...we praise Him who teaches us how to love with a love that He first gave us!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
The Bully
I was 13-years-old and loved having my own room. Finally. I had been sharing a room with my messy younger sister for years, and I finally convinced my mom to let me move into the smaller bedroom. I promised to always keep it clean, which she had a hard time believing because of the state of the current bedroom I partially occupied. "I promise. I'm not the messy one here. Just let me prove it to you." She eventually relented, and I moved into my own bedroom for the first time ever!
I loved my litle sanctuary. I spent lots of time in my special place. And...yes...I did keep it clean. Being somewhat of a neat freak enabled that to be an easy promise to keep. Until one day...
I neglected to mention that it wasn't just my sister and me. We had a brother that fell in between our ages. During those days, he was a bit of a...well, let's say...bully! (Hard to believe he now pastor's a thriving midwest church. See...God CAN do anything!) Anyway... as was his custom, he looked for ways to get to me and my sister...to make us angry or upset. He succeeded a lot with my sister. However, with me, he rarely succeeded, because I stayed tucked away in my sanctuary - out of his view quite often. This particular day, however, he went just a little too far. Out of sheer spite, he entered my room and with one swipe of his arm, he cleared everything off my desk - all my papers, books, and breakable trinkets. I was livid. Something welled up in me out of nowhere, and my brother must have noticed the look on my face was unlike anything he had ever seen from me. As a result, he took off...running as fast as he could...out of the house.
I had enough of his bullying. I didn't chase after him. I simply did one thing. I locked the door behind him. He was locked out of the house...for hours. My mother was at work, and I knew he would get to spend the better of the day outside with no lunch, no water, no connection to my sister and I. It might sound a little harsh, but I'd had enough.
I thought back to this incident earlier today. I'm being bullied again. Actually, our whole family is being bullied. But not by my brother this time.
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12 NIV
We are definitely under attack through my husband's recent job crisis. There's no doubt about it. We feel as if we've simply been blindsided throughout this whole ordeal. At the same time, we know that this battle is not ours. Satan simply has a target on us. He has a target on any family that lives to serve God. That's this world, folks. It's his for just a short time, and he knows it. The heat has been turned up, but we will not get burned. As we go through this fire, it will not overtake us. Job or no job at the end of this week, we'll still praise the One who fights these battles on our behalf. We'll still serve Him. We'll still love Him.
As for our bully. The door is locked. He can't get in. He has no place here, and we've had enough!
I loved my litle sanctuary. I spent lots of time in my special place. And...yes...I did keep it clean. Being somewhat of a neat freak enabled that to be an easy promise to keep. Until one day...
I neglected to mention that it wasn't just my sister and me. We had a brother that fell in between our ages. During those days, he was a bit of a...well, let's say...bully! (Hard to believe he now pastor's a thriving midwest church. See...God CAN do anything!) Anyway... as was his custom, he looked for ways to get to me and my sister...to make us angry or upset. He succeeded a lot with my sister. However, with me, he rarely succeeded, because I stayed tucked away in my sanctuary - out of his view quite often. This particular day, however, he went just a little too far. Out of sheer spite, he entered my room and with one swipe of his arm, he cleared everything off my desk - all my papers, books, and breakable trinkets. I was livid. Something welled up in me out of nowhere, and my brother must have noticed the look on my face was unlike anything he had ever seen from me. As a result, he took off...running as fast as he could...out of the house.
I had enough of his bullying. I didn't chase after him. I simply did one thing. I locked the door behind him. He was locked out of the house...for hours. My mother was at work, and I knew he would get to spend the better of the day outside with no lunch, no water, no connection to my sister and I. It might sound a little harsh, but I'd had enough.
I thought back to this incident earlier today. I'm being bullied again. Actually, our whole family is being bullied. But not by my brother this time.
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12 NIV
We are definitely under attack through my husband's recent job crisis. There's no doubt about it. We feel as if we've simply been blindsided throughout this whole ordeal. At the same time, we know that this battle is not ours. Satan simply has a target on us. He has a target on any family that lives to serve God. That's this world, folks. It's his for just a short time, and he knows it. The heat has been turned up, but we will not get burned. As we go through this fire, it will not overtake us. Job or no job at the end of this week, we'll still praise the One who fights these battles on our behalf. We'll still serve Him. We'll still love Him.
As for our bully. The door is locked. He can't get in. He has no place here, and we've had enough!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Exhausted...
Good evening friends!
As I type this, I know many of you have been following the recent series of events that I mentioned over the last fews days dealing with my husband's potential job loss. And...as a result, you have been praying for us. I can't tell you how much that means to us. There are simply no words to express the kind of gratitude right now we feel for each of you. This has been, by far, one of the toughest weeks we've experienced in a very long time.
As of tonight, my husband is still employed but has been dealing with this mess, through interviews and reports, all afternoon and evening. It's far from over, and now they hope to have an answer for him by the end of the week. So, this journey continues, and we are exhausted. Please continue to hold us up in your prayers.
Many years ago, Moses felt a similar exhaustion. As leader of the Israelites, he had to make a decision to issue a decree of war with the Amalekite people. In doing so, he instructed Joshua to go to battle with some of Israel's able-bodied fighting men. And, this is what we learn in Exodus 17:
"So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword."
You are like Aaron and Hur to us. Right now, we feel like Moses in that we are simply exhausted and don't feel like we can even keep our hands raised any longer. But, thankfully, you come alongside us with your prayers, which, in essence give us a stone to sit on and help to keep our hands raised so that the battle can continue, ultimately leading to victory. Now, victory for us would be my husband being fully restored to his original position with original pay. But, God may have different plans. We acknowledge that too. But, unless we're told differently...we choose to believe full restoration is around the corner. Please don't stop praying. You are the strength that we need to get through these exhausting days. You matter so much!
As I type this, I know many of you have been following the recent series of events that I mentioned over the last fews days dealing with my husband's potential job loss. And...as a result, you have been praying for us. I can't tell you how much that means to us. There are simply no words to express the kind of gratitude right now we feel for each of you. This has been, by far, one of the toughest weeks we've experienced in a very long time.
As of tonight, my husband is still employed but has been dealing with this mess, through interviews and reports, all afternoon and evening. It's far from over, and now they hope to have an answer for him by the end of the week. So, this journey continues, and we are exhausted. Please continue to hold us up in your prayers.
Many years ago, Moses felt a similar exhaustion. As leader of the Israelites, he had to make a decision to issue a decree of war with the Amalekite people. In doing so, he instructed Joshua to go to battle with some of Israel's able-bodied fighting men. And, this is what we learn in Exodus 17:
"So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword."
You are like Aaron and Hur to us. Right now, we feel like Moses in that we are simply exhausted and don't feel like we can even keep our hands raised any longer. But, thankfully, you come alongside us with your prayers, which, in essence give us a stone to sit on and help to keep our hands raised so that the battle can continue, ultimately leading to victory. Now, victory for us would be my husband being fully restored to his original position with original pay. But, God may have different plans. We acknowledge that too. But, unless we're told differently...we choose to believe full restoration is around the corner. Please don't stop praying. You are the strength that we need to get through these exhausting days. You matter so much!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Seven for Sunday
Seven passages from the Psalms that I'm clinging to now...
1. No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse. Psalm 25:3 NIV
2. But You, O LORD, are a shield about me, my glory and the One who lifts up my head. Psalm 3:3 NASB
3. When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? Psalm 56:3-4 NIV
4. I wait for the Lord, I expectantly wait, and in His word do I hope. Psalm 130:5 Amp
5. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. Psalm 73:25 NIV
6. My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. Psalm 62:1-2
7. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 NIV
1. No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse. Psalm 25:3 NIV
2. But You, O LORD, are a shield about me, my glory and the One who lifts up my head. Psalm 3:3 NASB
3. When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? Psalm 56:3-4 NIV
4. I wait for the Lord, I expectantly wait, and in His word do I hope. Psalm 130:5 Amp
5. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. Psalm 73:25 NIV
6. My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. Psalm 62:1-2
7. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 NIV
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Help My Unbelief!
"For the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does. The LORD loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love." Psalm 33:4-5
These were the words that greeted me this morning. I subscribe to BibleGateway.com's verse of the day, and this was the selection for today. This wasn't coincidence. This wasn't happenstance. This was God's little (actually big) promise of love for me today. Yesterday was hard (see that post for more information). Monday might be even harder. But the nuggets of truth about Jehovah in this Psalm speak loudly to those with a listening hear.
He is right.
He is true.
He is faithful.
He loves righteousness.
He loves justice.
His unfailing love fills this earth.
God never has been unjust to any of His creatures, and He never will be. Regardless of the outcome of this current trial, God is still God. He is still right, true, faithful, righteous, just, and full of love. He is still amazingly great and worthy of ALL praise! There is nothing too difficult for God. If He wants my husband to stay where He's at...He will make sure that happens. If He's calling Him somewhere else, then we'll trust Him in that too. I have no answers beyond today. I would be lying to say I'm not somewhat fearful, but I know that there is no fear in love, and God's love is complete! So - that is what I choose to cling to - His complete love!
God, I believe! Help my unbelief!
(Thank you, friends, for your precious comments, Facebook messages, and emails. They mean more to me than I can express. You are loved!)
These were the words that greeted me this morning. I subscribe to BibleGateway.com's verse of the day, and this was the selection for today. This wasn't coincidence. This wasn't happenstance. This was God's little (actually big) promise of love for me today. Yesterday was hard (see that post for more information). Monday might be even harder. But the nuggets of truth about Jehovah in this Psalm speak loudly to those with a listening hear.
He is right.
He is true.
He is faithful.
He loves righteousness.
He loves justice.
His unfailing love fills this earth.
God never has been unjust to any of His creatures, and He never will be. Regardless of the outcome of this current trial, God is still God. He is still right, true, faithful, righteous, just, and full of love. He is still amazingly great and worthy of ALL praise! There is nothing too difficult for God. If He wants my husband to stay where He's at...He will make sure that happens. If He's calling Him somewhere else, then we'll trust Him in that too. I have no answers beyond today. I would be lying to say I'm not somewhat fearful, but I know that there is no fear in love, and God's love is complete! So - that is what I choose to cling to - His complete love!
God, I believe! Help my unbelief!
(Thank you, friends, for your precious comments, Facebook messages, and emails. They mean more to me than I can express. You are loved!)
Friday, February 4, 2011
I Do Not Understand
Warning...this isn't pretty...just real.
I don't know where to begin. I don't even really know what to say. Our little world is being rattled once again. This time...a potential job loss on the horizon. We got word today that my husband might be losing his job on Monday. It literally sickens me to type those words. Now - don't get me wrong. I know lots of men and women that are losing jobs right now. This, sadly, is not uncommon during these tough economic times. However, what grieves me over this particular issue is that it has nothing to do with job performance. It has nothing to do with downsizing. It has nothing to do with job elimination. Simply put, one of the employees my husband works alongside made some poor business decisions. My husband was caught in the crossfire of these poor decisions, and now he may lose his job over it. His integrity is being questioned. His ethics are being questioned. And...it's all a lie from the father of lies. My heart aches for my husband right now, because those that know him best know - beyond all doubt - that he is one of the hardest working, loyal, men of integrity I've ever known. To be in this "hot seat" that he's found himself in seems like a very bad dream right now. Simply unbelievable. And, my heart wants to scream, "This is not fair, God!".
My heart wants to scream those words, but I won't let it.
God is always fair and just. God's plans are not always our plans. God knows us better than we know ourselves. And...honestly...was it fair that His own Son had to die a painful death over 2000 years ago for my wicked sins? Who am I to scream the word "unfair"?
I don't understand why we may be facing the darkest thing we've ever faced in our marriage. I don't understand why, when life is already difficult on many levels right now, that we might be thrown this wrench too. I simply don't understand. But, this I know...as it is written...
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
As it is written...
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
It's not for me to understand. Simply put, I choose to trust Him, praise Him, acknowledge Him in all things, thank Him, honor Him, and most assuredly love Him.
We welcome your prayers. We're obviously praying for his job to be saved. Ultimately, we want to walk in line with God's perfect will for us...whatever the cost.
I don't know where to begin. I don't even really know what to say. Our little world is being rattled once again. This time...a potential job loss on the horizon. We got word today that my husband might be losing his job on Monday. It literally sickens me to type those words. Now - don't get me wrong. I know lots of men and women that are losing jobs right now. This, sadly, is not uncommon during these tough economic times. However, what grieves me over this particular issue is that it has nothing to do with job performance. It has nothing to do with downsizing. It has nothing to do with job elimination. Simply put, one of the employees my husband works alongside made some poor business decisions. My husband was caught in the crossfire of these poor decisions, and now he may lose his job over it. His integrity is being questioned. His ethics are being questioned. And...it's all a lie from the father of lies. My heart aches for my husband right now, because those that know him best know - beyond all doubt - that he is one of the hardest working, loyal, men of integrity I've ever known. To be in this "hot seat" that he's found himself in seems like a very bad dream right now. Simply unbelievable. And, my heart wants to scream, "This is not fair, God!".
My heart wants to scream those words, but I won't let it.
God is always fair and just. God's plans are not always our plans. God knows us better than we know ourselves. And...honestly...was it fair that His own Son had to die a painful death over 2000 years ago for my wicked sins? Who am I to scream the word "unfair"?
I don't understand why we may be facing the darkest thing we've ever faced in our marriage. I don't understand why, when life is already difficult on many levels right now, that we might be thrown this wrench too. I simply don't understand. But, this I know...as it is written...
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
As it is written...
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
It's not for me to understand. Simply put, I choose to trust Him, praise Him, acknowledge Him in all things, thank Him, honor Him, and most assuredly love Him.
We welcome your prayers. We're obviously praying for his job to be saved. Ultimately, we want to walk in line with God's perfect will for us...whatever the cost.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Worry Wart
It's been another packed day and evening, hence another late night blog post. Thanks for bearing with me, as I near closer to the end of the 40 day blog writing challenge. Now - the real question...how often will I blog after this 40 days ends? Honestly, I'm not sure yet. I really think I need to have a set schedule, or else I'll end up not writing enough. So...we'll see! I just hope you stay with me. I've loved having all of you newbies (and oldbies) hanging out with me! Such sweet blog friends - I'm a blessed woman!
I just have to share that I had a bit of a breakthrough tonight. Simply put, I'm a worrier. I've worried my whole life about all kinds of things and even tons of things that don't even make sense to worry about. I'm also a "what if" person. What if this happens? What if that happens? I'm always thinking about a contingency plan in case the bottom falls out. That said, within about 10 minutes of walking in the door at home tonight, my husband shares something with me that literally caused another round of worry to start up. All of these "what if" thoughts started going through my mind. I was not only worried, but I was agitated, afraid, and simply...tired. I had a class at church tonight and only had about 30 minutes at home before I had to head on out. So, I left the house - in a bit of a huff, not really in a frame of mind for my class.
Now...friends...let me just tell you, I only live about a mile and a half from our church. But in that short little jaunt, the Holy Spirit did an amazing about-face work in me. I was praying aloud in the car, and I actually heard myself say..."Leah, stop it. Don't you know...as it is written, 'Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?' (Luke 12:25). Don't you remember what you blogged about last night. God loves the ravens and the grass, and how much more does He love you? Now, get a grip. What's the worse thing that could happen? Even if it does, you still have your life, your health, your family, and of course Sweet Jesus! That's enough." Whew! The worry simply fleed. Gone. Over. Done. It has no place in my life.
So, I came home and told my husband about my breakthrough. I think he was a bit surprised and relieved at the same time. I'm sure I'll fall in this area again, but I'm going to continue renewing my mind with the truths of God's Word. Just think...it was with the Word that Jesus rebuked Satan, as he was being tempted. The same power that raised Christ from the dead lives in me, and I will continue to tap into that power as I wield my sword of the Sprit - God's Word. I literally feel free!
I just have to share that I had a bit of a breakthrough tonight. Simply put, I'm a worrier. I've worried my whole life about all kinds of things and even tons of things that don't even make sense to worry about. I'm also a "what if" person. What if this happens? What if that happens? I'm always thinking about a contingency plan in case the bottom falls out. That said, within about 10 minutes of walking in the door at home tonight, my husband shares something with me that literally caused another round of worry to start up. All of these "what if" thoughts started going through my mind. I was not only worried, but I was agitated, afraid, and simply...tired. I had a class at church tonight and only had about 30 minutes at home before I had to head on out. So, I left the house - in a bit of a huff, not really in a frame of mind for my class.
Now...friends...let me just tell you, I only live about a mile and a half from our church. But in that short little jaunt, the Holy Spirit did an amazing about-face work in me. I was praying aloud in the car, and I actually heard myself say..."Leah, stop it. Don't you know...as it is written, 'Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?' (Luke 12:25). Don't you remember what you blogged about last night. God loves the ravens and the grass, and how much more does He love you? Now, get a grip. What's the worse thing that could happen? Even if it does, you still have your life, your health, your family, and of course Sweet Jesus! That's enough." Whew! The worry simply fleed. Gone. Over. Done. It has no place in my life.
So, I came home and told my husband about my breakthrough. I think he was a bit surprised and relieved at the same time. I'm sure I'll fall in this area again, but I'm going to continue renewing my mind with the truths of God's Word. Just think...it was with the Word that Jesus rebuked Satan, as he was being tempted. The same power that raised Christ from the dead lives in me, and I will continue to tap into that power as I wield my sword of the Sprit - God's Word. I literally feel free!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Who Determines Your Worth?
Happy Wednesday blog friends!
I'm sorry I'm so late getting my post up today. I've been struggling a bit with what to write. It's not that I don't have words. I always seem to have words of some sort. But, often they are simply jumbled up in my limited mind. It often happens when God is trying to get my attention about something. So, I've been a bit scattered in trying to hear more clearly from Him. As a result, my blog thoughts are also scattered.
When was the last time someone said something to you that hurt your feelings or maybe made you question something about yourself? How about the last time someone said something about your physical appearance in a derogatory manner or questioned your gifts and abilities? Did it cause you to shrink back? Was it honest...true...reasonable? Was there something to be learned in it or were you allowing someone else to determine your worth?
It dawned on me today that I've been going through a LOT of this type of thing lately. I honestly feel that it's a direct result of a fast that I did not too long ago. Without fail, during and following an extended time of fasting, I'm always tested. (But, I'll take the testing anyday for the extreme blessings that come from the fasting.) Anyway, as I've also been going through this Made to Crave journey successfully (praise God!), I've found that heat has been turned up in the testing. I've encountered some interesting comments lately from friends, strangers, and everybody in between. Some have challenged me, but some have just been downright ungodly.
Now, don't get me wrong. Sometimes God does everything He can to get your attention, and He'll use other people to do it - if needed. If that happens - you best be listening sweet friends. However, the other times seem to be from the enemy - often speaking through well-intentioned people. And...it's just the little words that rattle you, get you of course, cause you to question who you are in Christ.
Tonight, I realized part of what was going on, and I let my perpetrator know where he needed to go...
"Get behind me Satan. You DO NOT determine my worth! As it is written, the same God that provides food for the ravens and clothes for the grass of the field is the same God that created me and loves me even more."
God determines my worth! God determines your worth sweet friends. If He's speaking to you about a change that needs to take place, then listen and then be obedient to what He's asking. But, if you allow others to dictate who you are...determine who/what you need to be or need to be doing...then, ultimately you've let the enemy win as well.
There is a war going on. But, just know this...
"...our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12 NIV
And...we know Who wins!
I'm sorry I'm so late getting my post up today. I've been struggling a bit with what to write. It's not that I don't have words. I always seem to have words of some sort. But, often they are simply jumbled up in my limited mind. It often happens when God is trying to get my attention about something. So, I've been a bit scattered in trying to hear more clearly from Him. As a result, my blog thoughts are also scattered.
When was the last time someone said something to you that hurt your feelings or maybe made you question something about yourself? How about the last time someone said something about your physical appearance in a derogatory manner or questioned your gifts and abilities? Did it cause you to shrink back? Was it honest...true...reasonable? Was there something to be learned in it or were you allowing someone else to determine your worth?
It dawned on me today that I've been going through a LOT of this type of thing lately. I honestly feel that it's a direct result of a fast that I did not too long ago. Without fail, during and following an extended time of fasting, I'm always tested. (But, I'll take the testing anyday for the extreme blessings that come from the fasting.) Anyway, as I've also been going through this Made to Crave journey successfully (praise God!), I've found that heat has been turned up in the testing. I've encountered some interesting comments lately from friends, strangers, and everybody in between. Some have challenged me, but some have just been downright ungodly.
Now, don't get me wrong. Sometimes God does everything He can to get your attention, and He'll use other people to do it - if needed. If that happens - you best be listening sweet friends. However, the other times seem to be from the enemy - often speaking through well-intentioned people. And...it's just the little words that rattle you, get you of course, cause you to question who you are in Christ.
Tonight, I realized part of what was going on, and I let my perpetrator know where he needed to go...
"Get behind me Satan. You DO NOT determine my worth! As it is written, the same God that provides food for the ravens and clothes for the grass of the field is the same God that created me and loves me even more."
God determines my worth! God determines your worth sweet friends. If He's speaking to you about a change that needs to take place, then listen and then be obedient to what He's asking. But, if you allow others to dictate who you are...determine who/what you need to be or need to be doing...then, ultimately you've let the enemy win as well.
There is a war going on. But, just know this...
"...our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6:12 NIV
And...we know Who wins!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Scripture Memory Verse 3
I honestly can't believe January is gone. And...with that, this post brings me to day 32 of my 40 consecutive days of blogging. I just want to say THANK YOU to those of you that have been with me since the beginning and THANK YOU to those that are just joining me for the first time. I have been humbled and very excited to see our little community grow over these last 32 days. That said...today brings us to our 3rd scripture memory verse for the year. If you're participating in this via Beth Moore's blog, don't feel compelled to retype your verse information here, but I would LOVE to see what you're memorizing. However, even if I'm the only one...I'll still be posting mine each month...for accountability purposes! Keeps me on my toes! :-) If you have no idea what I'm talking about, please check out my January 1 post for more information.
So, here we go...
Once again, I asked God to show me the verse He wanted me to chew on and memorize for the next 14 days. This is what He led me to...
2 Chronicles 16:9a NKJV"For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him."
I'd love to hear what you're working on right now!
So, here we go...
Once again, I asked God to show me the verse He wanted me to chew on and memorize for the next 14 days. This is what He led me to...
2 Chronicles 16:9a NKJV"For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him."
I'd love to hear what you're working on right now!
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