Traveling...Again!

Good morning friends!

WOW! What a week this has been! With this being Sharathon week at work, it has flown by. And...to think we're here at Friday already!

Speaking of flying by...that's exactly what I'll be doing late this afternoon. Anna (my daughter) and I will be traveling to New Jersey (via Philadelphia) just for the weekend. Without going into details, I covet your prayers! I'm simply going to support Anna in something difficult that she needs to do and is dreading, but I'm very proud of her maturity in this.

She'll be with a lot of extended family this weekend, and I'll be sitting in a hotel room for much of the weekend writing, reading, catching up on emails, and praying (and hopefully resting too)! That said, I do plan to blog from New Jersey, and I'm actually planning to answer your questions from last Saturday's post in another VLOG format. So stay tuned... However, should technology falter for any reason...please note that I'll post whatever doesn't get posted when I get home on Sunday. But...I don't anticipate any problems. :-)

Keep those addresses coming if you want to be on my Christmas card list! I've enjoyed hearing from so many of you already. Don't know what I'm talking about? Check it out by clicking here!

Have a wonderful Friday sweet bloggy friends! You are a blessing to me!

And So It Begins...

I promised God that I would give Him glory for everything He's done in me and through me since my husband's death. Friends, apart from Him...I'd be a mess. And, if I'm being completely transparent (why stop now...right?)...it's possible I may not even still be here without God's abundant mercy and grace. Now, don't get me wrong...I've never had suicidal thoughts or anything of the sort since my own husband's suicide 5 months ago. But, honestly...I can't say that apart from Christ I would have the same assurance. I shutter to think...

This journey has been excruciatingly painful. There have been days I didn't want to crawl out of bed. There were many nights in those early days that I slept on the couch...I just couldn't go back to "our bed" without my Chris beside me. I cried and cried and cried until there was nothing left in me. And then...the gutteral cries would begin again.

But, all throughout the pain and the torment of grief...I kept praying...

This is YOUR story to tell, Lord. This isn't about me at all. This is about You, precious Lord. It's all about what You've done through me, what You're doing through me, and what You will do through me. And...it's all for Your glory!

I agreed to walk through any door that God would open where He wants His story told...whether it be just tiny snippets or the full-blown ordeal. I'll do whatever He asks me to do and go wherever He wants me to go.

And so it begins...

Within one week, I've shared snippets of His Story on two different radio programs. One will be broadcast later this month via Encouragement Cafe Radio, so I'll let you know more at a later date. The other? Yesterday morning during the first day of our annual Sharathon at the radio station where I work 106.9 the Light (WMIT). Here's the audio if you'd like to take a listen. My voice is shaky (I was fighting back the tears big time), but I think you'll get the jist. It's short...I promise!

To Him be all the glory!

Another Christmas Idea...

OK...you already know about the Chris Tree project I'm undertaking this year. If you don't...please, read about it HERE. Now, I have another idea. I know...I know...you're probably thinking, "What now?" Bear with me just for a moment...

As I noted when I announced my Chris Tree project, the Christmas season was always Chris' favorite of the year. This is no understatement, friends. He loved celebrating Christ's birth and would search for ways throughout the year to bring more and more emphasis to the season in our home. It's a good thing God put the two of us together to begin with, because I'm a bit of a Christmas nut myself. However, one of my favorite things to do at Christmas is to send out Christmas cards (and, if I'm totally being honest...I love finding my mailbox full of them too!). I spend a lot of time preparing my Christmas cards each year, and I want to always include as many people as I can. I know that postage isn't cheap anymore, but it's still one thing I love to do non-electronically. There's just something to be said about getting an old-fashioned card in the mail (anytime of the year, for that matter).

So, what does this have to do with you? I would love to be able to include as many of you on my Christmas card list as possible this year. Would you let me send you a card? It would bless my socks off! If so, please just email me your mailing address: leahgillen89@yahoo.com, or if we're Facebook or Twitter buddies, you can send it to me via Direct Message in either of those two places.

I know this might be a strange request, but I'm just doing anything and everything I can to be excited about this first Christmas without my sweet love by my side. Having little things like this to work on and be excited about really helps! Be blessed bloggy friends! You bring me joy!

UPDATE: I wanted to let you know that I think my next VLOG will be posted again on Sunday, and it will have the answers to the questions I received in my giveaway post from last Saturday. So stay tuned...I can't wait to answer your VERY GOOD and thought-provoking questions.

Sharathon Begins Today!

Before going any further...I want to announce the winner of my Saturday blog giveaway post!

Drum roll please...

CINDY - Timestamp: 1:18 AM, Date: 10/2 - YOU ARE THE WINNER!!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!! Please email me your mailing address, and I'll send your winnings to you right away! :-) My email addy: leahgillen89@yahoo.com

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Good morning bloggy friends!

Some of you know that I work in administration for a Christian radio station. More specifically, I am most blessed to serve at 106.9 the Light (WMIT-FM), founded by Billy Graham nearly 50 years ago. Check us out at http://www.1069thelight.org/ whenever you get a chance. Our coverage area is quite large...portions of 7 states. However, with the internet and cell phone apps...you can listen to us all over the world!

I say all of this to say that today marks our first day (out of two) of Sharathon!!! These are two days that we set aside each year to invite our listeners to join us in the work God is doing in changing lives. That's what it's all about friends...changed lives. It's not about money. Yes...it takes money to do ministry, but our focus is not on how many dollars can be raised - that's in God's hands. Our focus is on how many lives can be impacted through the work God is doing through us, His vessels, at the station. And...I should know...I am a life that has been changed (twice over) by the work of this station: first, as a listener back in 1997 and most recently back in June of this year (as an employee). I may have the opportunity to share that recent story on the air over the next two days, so I don't want to do so now. But, I'll be sure to share it here at a later date...regardless.

So, I ask those of you that are praying people to join me in praying for us to see a mighty God movement over these next two days! Please pray that we'll hear testimony after testimony of lives changed through the work God is doing at 106.9 the Light. Please pray for stamina for the entire staff and volunteer team. Please pray that "no weapon formed against" by the enemy will prosper! This is solid, good ground...so, the attacks always ramp up about this time. Thank you, friends, for your faithfulness to pray!

Here are just a few pics from some of our "out and about" events:

Proceeding...With Caution

First a couple of reminders: today is the last day to enter the Day 1 giveaway, click HERE for details. You have until 11:59 pm tonight to enter, and the winner will be announced tomorrow!

Secondly: if you haven't had a chance to check out yesterday's post yet...you might be in for a surprise (I know I was...ha!). I posted my first video blog (or VLOG). Now you can hear the voice behind the words!

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It's strange, really. For the first time in 5 months, I feel fully alive again. Yes, today marks the 5th month anniversary of the day my husband disappeared and probably died. While his death certificate says he died May 4, because that was the day he was found (which is the day we observe on "official" stuff - including grave marker)...I believe he entered Heaven on May 3. Too many reasons to explain, but I'm nearly 100% sure of that. Regardless, 5 months ago today...my life changed. Dramatically.

So, how do I feel fully alive? I think the feeling came when I discovered that I'm ready to serve again. I want to serve others. I want to be the Lord's mouthpiece. I want to return to speaking. I want to share the miracle He's done in me through this horrific life event. I want others to see Christ through me. And...I'm excited about what lies ahead. Yes - I still dread the upcoming holidays without him. I dread "celebrating" my 40th birthday in January without him teasing me like crazy. I dread my first Valentine's Day without my sweet Valentine to say "I love you". I dread Easter. I dread the 1st anniversary of his death. But, even with the "dreads"...I'm excited. I'm ready to proceed in service with whatever plans the Lord has for me...but, with caution.

I say "with caution", because the tidal waves are sure to come again. It's just part of grief. And...it's the hardest part to explain to someone that has never been in my shoes. They look at me and think, "Wow...she's doing great! She's healing so well." And...then a tidal wave comes, and people seem shocked. It almost comes across to me as feeling like I've failed.

But, you know what? That's a lie of the enemy. There is no formula to grief. No two people experience it exactly the same way. And, I can't begin to predict what the next day will bring (much less the next hour). All I know to do is to take steps forward...to keep holding out my arms for the Lord to catch me when I start to fall...and to be willing to have Him carry me when I can't take a single step. I'm willing to take the risk to bring glory to His name.

And...so I proceed...with caution.

My First VLOG!

Day 1 and a Giveaway!

It’s here! Day 1 of another 40-day blogging journey! I hope you’ll join me for as many of the 40 days as you can. The more of us “traveling” together – the more entertaining the voyage (at least for me!).

It’s been 150 days since the nightmare of my husband’s suicide began. 150 days of unbelievable grief and unbelievable joy. 150 days of seeing myself at my absolute lowest and weakest and yet seeing God’s strength poured out over me like I’ve never experienced before. But, these 150 days have also shown me the blessing of being surrounded by love, through God’s chosen vessels…people.

The surrounding hasn’t always been in the flesh. Sometimes, I’ve felt the love through prayers that have been lifted up to God’s throne room on my behalf. Some of the surrounding has come with words of encouragement received through social media outlets or right here in my own little blog-universe. Some of this encircling of love from friends (some I’ve never even met in person, by the way) has come through surprises I’ve discovered in my mailbox or that I’ve discovered on my front porch. Or…some have even found the means of sending touches of love to me at work…you are very clever (or determined…ha!). Regardless, the point in all of this is to simply say THANK YOU!!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!!! You have been the scaffolding for me these last 150 days. I could never have made it this far without you. I am so grateful for all of you!

And so…I invite you to continue to journey with me in these days of new beginnings and new normals in my new life as a young widow. For the next 40 days straight, you can find me here. Yes – I’ll be blogging for the next 40 days. As I noted in my previous blog post, I’ve done this a couple of times before, and it has always been very transformational. The number 40 in God’s Word always results in a time of great transformation. So, I’m setting out on another 40-day blogging journey anticipating great things but anticipating something transformational, nonetheless, in my walk with the Lord. I pray that somehow throughout this journey – you are blessed as well!

To kick things off, I just want to give something away! I have been so blessed these last 150 days…and now, I want to bless one of you. So, here’s how it’s going to work. One person will be receiving this little gift…$10 Starbucks gift card (not pictured), Jesus Lives by Sarah Young (a companion devotional to her very popular, Jesus Calling – which I LOVE), and a beautiful journal. If you happen to be the winner and already have any of these items, then pay it forward and bless somebody else with your gift.

The “rules” for entering:
One winner will be chosen at random. You can have up to four entries using the ways identified below. You don’t have to enter all four times – it just increases your odds. But, you can't utilize entries 2-3 without responding to the request detailed for entry 1. That's the only other stipulation. So, here you go:

1. First way to enter: please leave a comment here on this post (using the comments link in blue at the end of this post). Here’s what I want you to do…ask me a question…any appropriate question, and I’ll have a Q & A session in an upcoming post to answer your questions. I know I’ve been pretty transparent since the first day I began blogging, but I’m guessing there’s something you might like to know that I could answer. It could be a general question to get to know me better, or it could be a question about Chris’ death, or maybe about the grief process…just whatever comes to mind. Now – if it’s a completely vulgar or seriously inappropriate question (I pray that none of my readers would stoop to that level), it will get deleted. Otherwise…ask away.

2. The second way to enter – tweet about this post on Twitter or post about it on Facebook, providing the link back to this particular post. After doing so…come back here and leave another comment telling me you’ve done so.

3. Third way to enter: either follow my blog (using the follow link on the right) and leave a comment here telling me you’ve done it, or if you’re already following – simply leaving a comment saying “I’m a follower already.”

4. Last entry chance: let’s be friends on Facebook. If we are already…then simply leave a comment here saying, “We’re FB friends.” If not, send me a Friend Request and then come back here and leave a comment telling me you’ve done so.

If all you have time to do is #1 – that’s great! I just want to connect with as many of you as possible in as many avenues as we have available to us in this social media crazed world we now live in. Hence, the other entry possibilities.

The giveaway will be open for THREE DAYS – through Monday, October 3. I’ll announce the winner on Tuesday the 4th. That will give you busy weekenders plenty of time to participate. Just don’t forget! I’ll continue to post on Sunday and Monday, but you can still direct people to this particular post and link up to the contest as late as 11:59 pm on Monday!

May God richly bless your lives, as you’ve been such a blessing to mine!