You know the expression, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” For me, I’m finding that to be very true.
I had a hard day yesterday. (OK – I need to get real. I’ve had a hard several weeks.) Anyway, as I was thinking about Chris (like I do ALL the time), I suddenly realized that I’m more in love with him now than ever before. How can that be?
Some would argue that I should be angry with him. Oh – trust me – I have been, but I’ve given that to the Lord, and I have forgiven him. Some would think the longer I go without seeing him, hearing his voice, feeling his touch that my heart would gravitate towards other things/people to fill the “void”. Sure. I guess that’s natural too. The most common things I hear sound something like this, “You’re young. You’re pretty. You have so much to offer someone. You have a lot of life left in you. You’ll find true love again.” Those are well-meaning words from truly wonderful people, but for now…I simply have no comment.
All I know…right now…I’m more in love with my husband – my deceased husband – than I ever have been in my entire life. I love him more now than the day we married, and I never dreamed that would be possible. I truly don’t understand how this can be, but it is what it is. I think that’s why it hurts so badly.
I passionately love someone that can’t love me back. You can’t imagine (well, I know some of you can) how much that hurts. I truly ache inside from a heart that remains shattered.
Yes, I’m learning how to take steps forward. I’m forcing myself to function in life again. I’m actually serving in ministry again, and I LOVE that! But, I’m still a broken-hearted woman, deeply mourning the love of her life!