The pants were made of a soft velvet-like burgundy shade. The shirt was pin-striped white and burgundy (to match the pants, of course). And...if that wasn't enough, burgundy socks and penny loafers completed the outfit. Get the theme yet? Burgundy. Regardless, I thought it looked great on me. I even resembled the older high school girls that I looked up to. It was a happy occasion. Then...I woke up. I was thirteen years old and had literally just woken up from a dream of the "perfect" outfit. No...not a daydream. A real...slept all night...dream. I couldn't wait to share with my mom.
Excitedly, I announced to my mother, "I've got it! I've got it!"
"Got what?" mom asked.
"I know exactly what I want for Christmas," I boldly proclaimed.
I proceeded to tell my mother all about the dream and the burgundy outfit that I now wanted for Christmas, which was only about a month away.
She looked at me a little perplexed and simply said, "We'll see." (By the way, that's short for more-than-likely in my mom's "Mom-ese".)
Since dreaming of my perfect outfit, I couldn't stop thinking about it. It consumed me. I was super sensitive with my appearance anyway, and I knew this outfit would be nothing short of flattering for my middle-school girl figure. If only Christmas would come quickly...
The big day finally arrived! I opened a few gifts in search of THE one. I knew it had to be there, and you can only imagine the glee that surfaced on my face when I finally unwrapped the thing of beauty...my burgundy outift...in all its glory! Here it was - the very thing that consumed my dream that night and my thoughts for days thereafter. The very thing that would turn my boring life into one of excitement. I held it in my hands. It was EXACTLY what I asked for, but...it somehow didn't look as spectacular in the box as it did in my dream. Even worse...it looked even less spectacular on me as I tried it on. I looked frumpy, blah, and simply "not me". What was I thinking?!?! I banked all emotion on this gift, and it was NOTHING like I expected.
My burgundy outfit resurfaced again last week. No - not the actual manifestation of it, but the emotional draw to it. God actually brought it back to my mind in the least expected way. In my quiet time, I was crying out to Him (okay, maybe whining a little and begging a bit too) over some things I desired of Him. I dreamed of these things. I had a perfect picture of the way it was supposed to be, if He would only grant my deepest desires.
In the stillness of my spirit, He whispered, "You want the burgundy outfit again?"
A little louder this time, "Sweet daughter, do you want me to give you another burgundy outfit of your own making or do you trust the garments I have planned for you?"
I was quickened.
Scripture teaches that God's plans are so much higher than our plans. His ways are P.E.R.F.E.C.T. Sure, sometimes He'll give us exactly what we ask for, but sometimes what we ask for isn't all it's cracked up to be. Then again, sometimes he says "no", because he knows the "outfit" won't flatter us, and we're asked to wait as He creates the perfect garment to adorn us with in His perfect timing.
In these days of sheer disappointment and utter frustration over hopes and dreams not yet realized, I have to trust Him. Not MY plans, not MY things, and not even MY dreams. I know that I know that I know that His love for me is complete, and because of that I know that regardless of disappointing dreams, unrealized expectations, or less-than-ideal results, I want only His plans for me. That's a tough, but true, statement to make. How about you?