I’ve been thinking about this really hard for the last 19 weeks. I’ve chewed on it until the flavor seems to be all gone. I’ve spoken it out loud, written about it, but yet…I continue to ask myself…do I really mean it?
The question…
If God takes everything and everyone away from me, is He still enough?
Now, before I can give a direct answer to that question, I need to be real about the questions I’ve had to ask myself that have brought me to my answer. God has allowed my precious husband to be taken from me, and He’s giving me the grace to survive this horrific tragedy, but…
1) What if He took away my health? Would He still be enough?
2) What if He took away my beloved job…the place I look forward to serving in each day…would He still be enough?
3) What if He took away all of my friends and left me feeling isolated and lonely? Would He still be enough?
4) What if He took away the one person that has never left my side for the last 14 years, 7 months, and 20 days…my beloved daughter? What if He called her Home before me? Would He still be enough?
5) What if He took away all of my material possessions…what if I ended up homeless? Would He still be enough?
6) What if He took away the speaking ministry He’s given me? What if he closed my lips and allowed me to speak no further? Would He still be enough?
7) What if I lost it all…everything…people, things, security…would He still be enough?
My answer…
YES!!!!! I can answer with a resounding YES!!!!!!
Does this mean that I would not suffer if any of the above losses took place? Absolutely NOT! On the contrary, my suffering would be quite large. I would continue to rise and fall with the waves of grief, as I do now in learning to live without my Chris. (Just typing his name brings tears to my eyes.)
Does this mean that I welcome additional loss? Not in the least. I pray that He spares me further pain that comes close to the pain that I’ve experienced with the loss of my husband. It’s the worse pain I’ve ever endured and to think I might be asked to endure that type of pain again makes me sick to my stomach.
Does this mean that my response to additional loss would be “saintly” and full of wisdom? Nope. I know me too well to know that. I struggle now with walking my current journey of loss in a way that pleases God. I try…but, I know I fail quite often.
So, how can I answer with a resounding YES?
Because…He’s God….He’s always Good…He always keeps His promises…AND, this life that we have to live on earth is so small, covering such a minuscule period of time, and so brief compared to ALL of eternity!
So, YES…He’s enough. I’ll do whatever He asks me to do during this brief season of earthly life to experience the never-ending, glorious season of eternal life. And…if He asks me to experience this journey with nothing but Him…I’ll do that too. Tears and all. Because, He’s enough!
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Thank you for this message, Leah. God asked me the same question my entire time at SHE Speaks this year and I have to admit that up until then even though I had said it and thought it, I wasn't living like He and He alone was enough.
ReplyDeletePrior to SS, I would allow things/people to steal my peace rather than His peace in me be enough. I would allow things/people to steal my joy rather than His joy in me be enough. And the list goes on.
But my heart was really transformed that weekend. He repeatedly and lovingly pursued me with this question until I truly understood in my heart that He was more than enough for me; even if I did not have anything else; even if my relationships weren't where I wanted them; even if, even if, even if....
And I'm so glad He has worked on your heart to be in the same place too. Is it a relief to truly understand that regardless of what is going on around us; no matter how dire the circumstances; He truly is enough, glory to God.
Love you sweet sister!
Thank you Ayla! What a sweet place of peace for our hearts to reside don't ya think? :-)
ReplyDeleteIf God took everything and left me nothing...I can't imagine not clinging to HIM even tighter. I need Him now, and I would need Him 10,000 times more if everything was stripped away. Yes. God is enough. Thanks, Leah.
ReplyDeleteEileen...I'm so glad you can say YES too! It's a beautiful thing!
ReplyDeleteI'm going through a period where I feel like God is stripping away everything that I once depended on. I'm losing all sense of who I am, or who I used to be, but there's not a new definition of "me" yet. I keep wondering what gives my life value. God seems to be taking away all the things that I defined as "success" and I'm left with...a big empty hole at the moment. But I believe God's going to fill my emptiness, because I, too, believe God is enough.
ReplyDeleteChristy, I can totally relate to where you're at. I keep waiting on that new definition of "me" too! But, even if I never find it this side of eternity (although I believe I will)...He's still enough! I'm glad you believe that too!
ReplyDeleteFour years ago God took away my Church, my Ministry, my Job and all my friends, with one decision, in one day. 8 months ago He took away my precious husband of 30 years. I stand nearly alone, not sure if anything will ever be enough to cling to life. Yes, I have adult kids but they have their lives, yes I have a job, yes I go to church, but NOTHING holds meaning any longer. I know God is enough; I just can't seem to feel Him anymore. You are so blessed to have people in your life who love you and are near to you to be able to talk to, share with, walk this journey with and a church family and Christian work atmosphere to be surrounded by Godly counsel and love.
ReplyDeleteFather God,
ReplyDeleteI pray for my sweet sister Cindy. God, I pray that she would feel your presence surrounding her now in new, fresh, and very real ways. As you know, I also struggled with the clouded perception of your nearness. And, you graciously showed me that area that you are more real to me than this broken world I see around me. Thank you for the victory over this broken world that we have in Christ. As a result, we long for Heaven...our permanent Home! Until that day arrives, please give my sister the Grace and the Mercy to walk through these difficult days. Surround her with the support of faithful friends. If they are missing now...bring them to her. And, I pray that you take her ashes and turn them into something exquisitely beautiful that brings you abundant glory! In the name of my sweet Savior, Jesus, I pray...
Amen!
He is enough...
ReplyDeleteI've learned this as well in the last year of my life.
Prayers and peace to you this night~elaine