The subject of forgiveness has come up a lot recently, so I wanted to share some tidbits from R.T. Kendall's Total Forgiveness that revolutionized a time in my life when I really struggled with forgiveness. To learn more, PLEASE get the book! I guarantee you won't be sorry. It's definitely the best book I've read on the subject, to date.
WHAT TOTAL FORGIVENESS IS NOT
1. Approval of what they did
2. Excusing what they did
3. Justifying what they did
4. Pardoning what they did
6. Denying what they did
7. Blindness to what happened
9. Refusing to take the wrong seriously
10. Pretending we are not hurt
WHAT TOTAL FORGIVENESS IS
1. Being aware of what someone has done and still forgiving them
2. Choosing to keep no records of wrong
3. Refusing to punish
4. Not telling what they did (in a gossipy sort of way; therapeutically w/ a right heart attitude is good)
5. Being merciful
7. An inner condition
8. The absence of bitterness (ouch!)
9. Forgiving God
10. Forgiving ourselves
Kendall also goes on to say, "The ultimate proof of total forgiveness takes place when we sincerely petition the Father to let those who have hurt us off the hook - even if they have hurt not only us, but also those close to us."
Whoa - let that sink in a bit...