Monday, June 22, 2009


I need to make a little confession - I'm super frustrated right now. Almost 2 months ago, I had surgery on my foot to correct a problem that was causing a lot of pain. I had been enduring the pain for almost 2 years, and it had literally stopped my new running program in its tracks (not to mention a lot of other exercise). On the one hand, the surgery DID correct part of the pain - hallelujah! However, the worst part (which has been in my toes) is still there. I'm trying to simply chalk it up to still healing - which could be the case. It takes time to recover from these surgeries, however I also know that my toes feel the same as before, which doesn't give me hope. Why is this happening? I, and so many others, prayed that the surgery would be a success resulting in complete healing. I just know God wants to me to be healthy, so why would He allow something that could impede my health? I keep asking why...why...why? Sure enough - like He always manages to do when I give Him a moment to speak to me, He reminded me clearly in His word...

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9)

WOW! Why does the word have to be so piercing sometimes? In all honesty, I want God's plans and thoughts over mine anyday. It's just hard to let go sometimes - isn't it? I've seen some pretty terrible things happen to people I love that honestly don't make sense sometimes, but each time I start to question it - without fail, I'm brought back to these verses. I guess this time I'm the one that needed the gentle reminder!

In life I've learned that sometimes we don't get what we asked for, because God is still teaching us a more important lesson that might be missed otherwise. Or - maybe He wants us to rely completely on Him, and we haven't done that fully. Sometimes - we're in the middle of sin, and He may use a "no" to speak conviction to our heart. Often times - He has something much bigger and better planned for us on the horizon, but we have to experience a little pain to get to the victory. Quiet honestly, however, we may never know why our prayers aren't answered. It's in those times, that relying on who God is and on His word have to be enough! The fact is, He is God, and He can see things we can't see and knows things we don't know. But one thing I know to be true - He loves me with a love I'll never understand, so I choose to BELIEVE Him, TRUST Him, and LOVE Him in return!

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