Thursday, November 3, 2011

Spring is Coming!

No, I'm not completely crazy. I realize the season that follows autumn is winter. However, I'm not talking about those kinds of seasons. Rather...the seasons my grief.

I've had an epiphany of sorts over the last day or so. Living in the mountains of Western North Carolina, our winters can be quite varied. Some the last two, for instance...have been full of the "white stuff". Quite honestly, I grew up LOVING winter, and it's only been in recent years that it's become the season I choose to snub. In part, because of the white stuff. It's so difficult for me to get around in, and being stuck (or shall I say temporarily stranded in it) twice last winter sealed it's fate for any opportunity for reconciliation from me. I'm simply "over" winter. Our relationship was friendly while it lasted, but in the got rather ugly.

However, we've also had winters...many more of them actually...where there was very little precipitation. It was just cold or mildly chilly. While still no fun, unless you're hot-natured (not me!), those winters are definitely more manageable. From my recollection, they typically don't last as long either.

I believe I've been in the grief season of winter for the last 6 months. It was exactly 6 months ago today that my husband was confirmed absent from the body and home with the Lord. My winter began...

These winter months of grief for me have been varied. I've lived through grueling blizzard after blizzard in the beginning. The blizzards tapered off into mild days of snow, shortly followed by a little sun peeking through the clouds on some cold days. Just when I think winter would be nearing its end, another snowstorm would come barreling through, often stranding me in a state of panic yet again. The snow would melt, the sun would peek through again, and spring would be soon to come...I could just sense it. But, I would be wrong again. This time...another blizzard, worse than before. Where am I now...Iceland? It never seems to stop snowing!

But, regardless of what I'm seeing and feeling, I KNOW spring is coming! It always does. I just have to wait a little bit longer. I may have to wear these snowboots until they're worn out. I may have to keep donning the hats, gloves, and scarves. I may have to keep the electric blanket on and the fire going. But, I KNOW spring is coming!

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. ~Hebrews 11:1