There's nothing monumental that's taken place. I mean, even my splatter on the floor of the local grocery store is minor compared to the events of May 3-4. So, putting all of this into perspective...it's not been that bad, if I really think about it.
So, why the sullen mood?
I'm just hurting. I'm missing Chris terribly right now. It just happens. I think about him every single day, but somedays...I'm absorbed with thoughts of him. I just want him back so badly. I know that's impossible...but, I can still want...can't I? Even typing this blog...the tears are pouring, my shoulders are quivering, because I miss him sooooo badly! I. Really. Miss. Him. I don't know how to say it any plainer than that.
But, I have to move forward. I have to keep serving the God that I adore. I have to keep walking the journey. I have to keep trusting. And, I must keep thanking. It's in the thankfulness, I find healing.
And so I begin...
I gave thanks for...
1. My Jesus
2. Anna's laughter
3. Healing tears
4. Authentic friends
5. Clean drinking water
6. Scenic mountain landscapes
7. Eyesight to see God's gifts
8. The ability to feel useful even while deeply grieving
9. Encouraging comments on my blog
10. "Just because" cards received in the mail at just the right time
11. Still being able to see my 5-yr-old daughter's face now in her almost grown 14-yr-old face as she wakes in the morning.
12. The precious flowers I found on my doorstep yesterday with the message: "Leah, you are so loved. God"
And the list continues...that's just a sampling.
Thank you God for holding me so closely right now!
|My surprise flowers that arrived yesterday!|