She was crying. I could hardly understand her through the heart-breaking sobs, but I could make out the words, "I just need someone to pray for me."
Sitting at my desk, I had just been transferred a call from a listener in desperate need of a listening ear and a willing heart to pray. This happens quite frequently while working at a Christian radio station, but I'm not often the one that gets the calls. Typically, they go to the studio - to talk with the announcers. These are the voices they know. The ones they are most comfortable with, but today...Terrie was given to me. Truth be known...I might have simply been the first one available. Regardless, God wanted Terrie and I to connect.
I asked her to share more with me. What was troubling her? What was causing the tears?
She spoke oh-so-softly, "I just want to understand God's plan for me. I know and hear that He has a plan for all of His children. But, everytime I think I know what He wants me to do, the plan fails."
Oh boy. How I can soooo relate! She had just received some discouraging news and began questioning God's plans all over again.
And so I shared, "Terrie (I had already asked for her first name)...yes, God does have a plan and purpose for you. His Word says so. But, His Word also says that 'many are the plans in a man's heart, but it's the Lord's purpose that prevails'. We also know from His Word that God's plans don't always equal our plans, hence the frustration."
But, then came the sticking point...the one thing that I wanted her to hear if she heard nothing else..."Regardless of what we may feel, Terrie, regardless of what we may see, this one thing I KNOW...God's plans are always better than anything we can even dream up."
As soon as the words left my mouth, I simply sat there. Stunned. Did I just say that? Am I willing to believe that for myself? Was my husband's suicide and the subsequent agonizing grief that I've endured a better plan for me than anything I can dream up? Really? And, in my heart...I have to answer my own question...
Yes. God's plans are best. Even if that looks completely insane right now...I know my God is bigger than suicide. I know that my God is bigger than grief. I know that my God is bigger than loneliness. I know that my God is much bigger than my lack of understanding. And, I know that "God works for the GOOD of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28).
I may have to wait to see those "better" plans, and it may result in something I don't see with my physical eyes until heaven, but YES...His plans are always better.
And...so I prayed with Terrie. We went before the throne room asking God to give Terrie a glimpse (even if it was ever so tiny) of His plans for her. We asked Him to close doors she's not to walk through and swing wide open the ones that she is. And, we thanked Him for allowing us to see with eyes of faith right now but trusting that one day our faith will be our sight!