It has been the BEST morning! I've been cleaning house. No - I'm really not crazy. I don't like to clean, per se, but I love to clean with the songs of my iPod filling the entire house. My hubby was out playing in the woods with one of his friends. My daughter had school today (yes - Saturday - makeup snow day). So...it was the Clorox, the Windex, my iPod, me and God! Sometimes God speaks most clearly to me through a dirty rag. Kinda reminds of me the old passage from Isaiah,
"All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags..." Isaiah 64:6 NIV
Don't I know it? I tend to go the "other way" quite often. I had this conversation with a friend two weeks ago. There are essentially two kinds of pride. The one kind is where we never give God credit for all that He's done...instead, we take the credit...we puff our own selves up. We tout our own name. Then, there's the other kind...the kind where we put ourselves down. We never give God credit for the amazing things He's done for us and through us. It's kind of like we have prideful humility (if there is such a thing). Friends...I find myself there often. I don't take compliments well...I always tend to shrug it off, "thanks, but...". There's always a "thanks...but" in my reply. I'm always afraid that if I simply say thank you that, as my daughter would say, I'm trying to "be all that". I'm so afraid of taking ANY credit for fear of not appearing humble. That's just as prideful as the person that takes all the credit.
Anyway...I've digressed a little here...
My point in all of this is that God has been doing some AMAZING things in me lately. I mean Uh. Maz. Ing. I can only recall one time prior in my life that I was walking as closely with Him as I am now. Now, before I go any further, I have to say that these are mostly internal things. Externally speaking, my life is still a mess in areas. I'm still crying out to God with many of the same prayer requests that I've had for months or years! Life is VERY hard right now. Time is my enemy these days. I catch myself crying a lot. But...God is still working and MORE THAN EVER!
So, back to my cleaning this morning. As I was sweeping the kitchen floor, listening to a sweet praise song on my iPod...I was completely overcome joy! Yes...joy! I literally felt paralyzed as the joy took over! Isn't God amazing that even in our dark days, He can make His presence known in such clear ways that we can't help but feel pure joy! It reads this way in the Psalms,
"When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul." Psalm 94:19 NIV
Friends, only God can do that. I truly don't understand how people that don't know Him can possibly make it through this thing we know as "life" on earth. I would be utterly hopeless without Him. Instead...even the midst of difficult circumstances, unanswered prayers (or delayed answered prayers, I should say), confusion, heartache, and disappointment...he gives me great JOY!
May I hear a loud AMEN?!