Good evening friends!
I just finished watching the weekly Made to Crave webcast a little while ago. Such meat! (No...I'm not talking about the edible kind.) While this book, the webcasts, devotions, my support group, etc. have all been extraordinarily resourceful along this journey...the ultimate change in me has taken place in learning to hear God's voice in those TRUTHFUL thoughts that fill my mind rather than the lies the enemy wants me to latch onto. And...let me tell you, I had my share of lies to work through this weekend. Here's a little peak...
My birthday was Friday. Months ago, I asked my daughter if she would make her famous chicken enchiladas for my birthday dinner. She was delighted and couldn't wait to lavish me with the one thing that she makes from scratch - to perfection! I couldn't wait. I've been living for these enchiladas for months. But...yes, there's a but here...I knew that God was whispering to me "while all things might be permissible for you to eat, all things are definitely not beneficial". I know...I know...I really do desire to please Him more than my taste buds. I really do want to know Him better than I know the ingredients in my food. I really do want my day to revolve around my sweet time of fellowship with my Savior than around the meals I'm going to eat (even though the enemy wanted me to feel deprived in not getting the enchiladas).
So, I had the displeasure of seeing the look on my daughter's face when I told her I needed to postpone the enchilada dinner for now. She looked so hurt. I almost changed my mind over the whole thing. But, God redirected my thoughts. Praise Him! I then shared with my sweet girl that her enchilada dinner has been THE thing I've been looking forward to about my birthday for months. That I've never had enchiladas taste as good as hers. But...there's that but again...I'm trying very hard to retrain my mind and my body to crave God more than food. I knew having the enchiladas in the house would cause me to succumb to temptation beyond my abilities to overcome right now. She was still disappointed, but we agreed to try the enchilada dinner a little later in the year when I'm feeling a little mentally stronger. I'm getting there, but I know my weakness is one accidental bite away, so I had to resist...this time.
So, we actually went out to eat instead. You might think that sounds ludicrous, but I actually surprised myself with the fact that I could go into a restaurant and make wise, low carb choices. I ate only those foods that were on my personal "permissible" list. And...I was so pleased with the small successes, as this was my first meal out since the first of the year.
Then...yesterday was my daughter's birthday. We promised her we'd take her out to eat, and she could pick the restaurant. Yes - another restaurant in the same weekend! I think I can...I think I can...I think I can... She ended up picking a spot that has THE best all you can eat bread - the melt in your mouth kind. Oh my heavens...just looking at it made me want to down the whole basket. (The enemy was right there cheering me on also!) As soon as the mouth watering began, the Lord spoke to my heart once again, "Does your mouth water for me that way? Do you want to devour my word like you do that bread?" Ouch! Truthfully...no. Friends, I'm still a work in progress. I'm still learning to crave God more. This has to be a daily CHOICE. But, He so sweetly reminded me, "Leah, you were made for more than this." Yes...I know. Boy, do I know. He saved me from a huge mistake. Once again.
I love this journey friends. I absolutely LOVE it. I love what He's teaching me. Sometimes, the lessons are difficult to learn, but...WOW...I feel and know that He's pleased with me. He loves me regardless of my size or what the scale says I weigh. But, I know He's tickled to see me gaining victories rather than pounds. All Glory goes to Him!
Speaking of pounds...I'm still dropping...I weighed Saturday and lost another 3 pounds last week. Total of 23 pounds now gone!!!! Woohoo!!!